Why Janet?

I never thought it could happen to me. I mean, parentheses? In this day and age? But for the past couple years, my go-to programming language for fun side projects has been a little Lisp dialect called Janet.
(print "hey janet")
I like Janet so much that I wrote an entire book about it, and put it on The Internet for free, in the hopes of attracting more Janetors to the language.
I think you should read it, but I know that you don't believe me, so I'm going to try to convince you. Here's my attempt at a sales pitch: here is why you – you of all people – should give Janet a chance.